Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
