Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My pussy is not your playground.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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