Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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