Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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