Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
