whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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