Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
