I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
