Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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