and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
