and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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