a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
