Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
