So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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