Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
