I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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