do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize