Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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