Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
