Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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