That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
