cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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