Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
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