didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
