my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I am available for nakedness
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