He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
