Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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