dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
