8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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