no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Randomize
