I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
