Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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