Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
These tits shall not be calmed
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
