I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
