I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
