what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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