Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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