That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
