matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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