am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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