Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
