Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
