just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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