We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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