I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
