I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
