That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Randomize
