omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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