remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
