I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
