He is an equal opportunity slut.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
