when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
There r osticjed everywhere
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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