Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
