Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
