just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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