god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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